chocolate is a verb

colors, flavors, whims and other growing things

tea leaves…

jik age 6 to DAK side 1

jik age 6 to DAK side 2

jik age 6 to DAK envelopeMuch has been thrown away, but over the years my father, my mother and I each made decisions about things that would be kept. This letter, which I wrote at age 6, was in a folder my father labeled “Treasures.”

I read it like tea leaves: the chaos of a rare rainy day in Los Angeles, the sudden rainbow, the two names with their inverted letters — Jan, the girl I envied, the girl I wanted to be, from earliest school days, and Julie, my best friend.

And the letter itself: the formality of Dear Mother (had her long absence when I was 3 and 4 changed her from Mommy and tucked a wedge of caution or suspicion into our relationship ever after?), the surprise of the quite-adult suppose, the unfinished because you, the picture of my red-headed mother in a fancy dress walking a green dog.

The letter covers both sides of a sheet of newsprint and another sheet has been folded in 6-year-old fashion into an envelope, with a liberal application of Scotch tape, and addressed in ballpoint pen, each letter carefully inscribed twice over.

So much is unknown. Sentences unfinished. Wrong-headed suppositions. But as my friends will attest, I still sign my letters xoxo and I can’t resist a green dog.

5 responses to “tea leaves…

  1. Eric Solstein October 12, 2013 at 9:51 am

    Treasures. Yes.

  2. Jennifer Bullis October 12, 2013 at 3:41 pm

    So evocative, these glimpses of young you.

  3. jik October 12, 2013 at 4:28 pm

    Thanks….I find the discovery somewhat mysterious.

  4. Kim Bultman October 15, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    I love how you wrote your letter in various colors (I’m a Crayola fanatic) and also your assumption that the answer to your question would be positive. It says more about you than your mother. I also love your striped awning. (Or end of the proverbial rainbow?)

  5. jik October 15, 2013 at 5:36 pm

    Thanks, Kim. I love the idea of an awning, but I’m thinking it’s probably a rainbow since awnings were not yet much a part of my world view. ;-)

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